from

http://www.interfaithofficiants.com/CompanionAnimalClergy.html

Please feel free to use the following services for your own needs.  Where I have quoted others, please be respectful and give those quoted their due credit.  If you feel my services have been helpful to you, please make a donation to your local animal shelter. 

Below:

1.  Nondenominational (Christian and Jewish) service

2.  Secular/Humanist/General Spiritual Service

3.  Ideas for an informal children's service for a child's pet

Nondenominational (Christian and Jewish) Pet Memorial Service

(Appropriate music can be played before and after, as well as during the procession.)

Gathering Words

Dear Friends,

We gather here together to honor the beloved memory of _______________

who has recently passed.  

___________ was a much loved member of the _________ family,

and he/she will be missed greatly. 

Today, we honor ________ ‘s beautiful loving spirit,

kind eyes,

(once?) playful demeanor,

and unconditional love. 

Like an angel,

__________’s presence calmed his/her family,

soothed them at the end of a long day,

and made them feel loved when they needed it most. 

As we say good-bye to this wonderful dog/cat/horse/etc.,

we are thankful for the gift we have received

of having been a part of his/her life, as well. 

Reading

To Every Thing There is a Season

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To everything there is a season,

and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,

and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;

a time of war, and a time of peace.

Prayer

Let us pray:

Heavenly Father / Creative Spirit / Source of Peace (choose one),

We thank-you for the opportunity to have known __________

in our lifetime. 

We thank-you for the gift of his/her friendship,

and for what he/she has taught us about loving others. 

Because we are humans and not perfect,

we ask for forgiveness if there was ever a time

when ____________’s needs were misunderstood

or not attended too quickly enough.

______________ was deeply loved by his/her human family,

and we know ______________ deeply loved them as well.

Heavenly Spirit, we ask that you watch over _____________

and forever keep him/her in your loving arms,

until his family can be there to care for him/her again.

Until then, we ask that the special memories

of this beloved pet

be blessed forever and ever.

Let us say, Amen.

Amen

Officiant’s Address

I want to thank-you for inviting me

to honor the life of your beloved pet ______________ today. 

As all of us here know,

a pet is a very special member of a family.

Although I did not know ________,

I feel as if I had known him/her

by the loving accounts I have heard about ________ from his/her family

(and from the photos his/her family has shared with me). 

There is nothing else in life like the relationship we have with our pets.

Pets are great listeners. 

They seem to be able to understand what we are saying

when we talk to them, and they don’t argue back.

They don’t judge us,

and they don’t hold a grudge. 

I believe we share our lives with animals to learn what they can teach us:

•to love unconditionally,

•to care about others rather than our possessions,

•to remember to be playful in life,

•to remember to snuggle with those we love,

•to observe the world around us with curiosity and enthusiasm,

•to wake up knowing that each day is a new adventure,

•to remind us to take a walk and enjoy the sunshine from time to time,

•to trust that the world will provide everything we need,

•and to remind us, “Don’t worry.  Be happy”. 

As we mourn the loss of __________,

who was a very special and much-loved pet,

we are thankful for these important lessons

he/she taught us about life. 

Personal Sharing

Now is the time in our service when I ask _____________’s family and friends

to share a favorite memory of ________________. 

Who would like to begin?

(Thank the sharers.)

Procession or Honoring Remains

(Begin music - If there is a casket or an urn of ashes, each attendant can approach it and place a flower on it or near it, to pay their respects.  If there are just a few people, have a silent meditation until the music stops.)

Prayer - Adapted from “Prayer for Those Who Mourn”

(from the Chaplain of the Pets Founder, Reverend Sandra M. Shaw)

Loving Spirit,

Give me the grace to mourn with dignity. 

Give me the grace to mourn in peace.

Give me the grace to mourn without shame and embarrassment.

Give me the grace to mourn fully so that my heart will be healed.

Give me the grace to mourn out loud and cry until my crying is done.

Give me the grace to mourn the loss of the one I loved,

And to understand others when they must face a similar road.

Give me the grace to mourn with patience

And to be tolerant of my own need

to move through this at my own pace.

Give me the grace to accept that I am in mourning

And to be at peace with that while my heart mends.

I pray that my time of mourning

will be made easier through my understanding

that mourning is good for my heart.

May mine be a good mourning,

one that cleanses my heart,

and renews my spirit.

May my memories of my beloved _________ 

be for a blessing,

so that I may love be ready to love again.

Amen.

Reading

(Appropriate for Christian and Jewish services.  Other readings can be substituted.)

Let us be comforted in our grief by remembering the words of Psalm 23: 

Psalm 23 (New International Version)

A psalm of David.

  The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

  He makes me lie down in green pastures,

      he leads me beside quiet waters,

  he restores my soul.

      He guides me in paths of righteousness

      for his name's sake.

  Even though I walk

      through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]

      I will fear no evil,

      for you are with me;

      your rod and your staff,

      they comfort me.

  You prepare a table before me

      in the presence of my enemies.

      You anoint my head with oil;

      my cup overflows.

  Surely goodness and love will follow me

      all the days of my life,

      and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

      forever.

(For a Jewish funeral, you can insert the mourners Kaddish here.) 

Closing Blessing

In our tradition,

we are reminded that our bodies return to the earth,

while our spirits are set free to reunite with the Creator. 

As we say good-bye to our beloved ______________,

we express our deepest gratitude for the blessing of his/her sweet presence. 

Through __________, we learned compassion. 

Through __________, we learned patience. 

Through ___________, we experienced joy. 

Through ___________, we learned to think about someone else other than ourselves,

and learned to be both giving and forgiving. 

Through __________, we learned about friendship and loyalty. 

Through ______________, we learned about innocence, humility and forgiveness. 

Through this beloved animal, we were shown the best qualities of humankind,

and found that the highest virtue of all

is kindness to others.

Through our beloved _______________,

we were shown the greatest gift of all,

the gift of unconditional love. 

As we go forth from this day,

may these important lessons be within our hearts,

and upon our lips. 

May we remember to share them with others. 

In sharing them, we will truly honor the memory of ______________,

and keep his spirit in our lives. 

As you leave, we read from:

Numbers 6:24-26:

May the Lord bless you and keep you;

May the Lord make his face to shine upon you,

and be gracious to you;

May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you,

and give you peace."

Secular/Humanist Pet Memorial Service

The service begins with the sound of bells or appropriate music. 

Gathering Words/Candle Lighting

We light this candle to honor the memory of _______________

who has recently passed,

and to celebrate his/her life.  

___________ was a much loved member of the _________ family,

and he/she will be missed greatly. 

We honor ________ ‘s beautiful loving spirit,

kind eyes,

(once?) playful demeanor,

and unconditional love. 

__________’s presence calmed his/her family,

soothed them at the end of a long day,

and made them feel loved when they needed it most. 

As we kindle this flame, we are reminded how this beautiful animal brought light into the lives of those who loved him.

Reading

Native North American prayer:

Do not stand at my bier and weep.

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush,

I am the swift, uplifting rush of

Quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my bier and cry;

I am not there, I cannot die.

Collective  Reading

After each line, please respond, “We will remember him/her”.

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,

We will remember him/her.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,

We will remember him/her.

In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring,

We will remember him/her.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn,

We will remember him/her.

When we are weary and in need of strength,

We will remember him/her.

When we are lost and sick at heart,

We will remember him/her.

When we have joys we yearn to share,

We will remember him/her.

So long as we live, he/she, too, shall live.

For he/she is now a part of us.

We will remember him/her.

Meditation

Please close your eyes in quiet meditation.

Today, we are grateful for the opportunity to have known __________

in our lifetime. 

We are grateful for the gift of his/her friendship,

and for what he/she has taught us about loving others. 

Because we are humans and not perfect,

We must forgive ourselves if there was ever a time

when ____________’s needs were misunderstood

or not attended to quickly enough.

______________ was deeply loved by his/her human family,

and we know ______________ deeply loved them as well.

(Long Pause)

When you are ready, please open your eyes.

Officiant’s Address

I want to thank-you for inviting me

To help honor the life of your beloved pet ______________. 

Although I did not know ________,

I feel as if I had known him/her

by the loving accounts I have heard about ________ from his/her family

(and from the photos his/her family has shared with me). 

As all of us here know,

a pet is a very special member of a family.

Our pets are great listeners. 

They seem to be able to understand what we are saying

when we talk to them, and they don’t argue back.

They don’t judge us,

and they don’t hold a grudge. 

I believe we share our lives with animals to learn what they can teach us:

•to love unconditionally,

•to care about others rather than our possessions,

•to remember to be playful in life,

•to remember to snuggle with those we love,

•to observe the world around us with curiosity and enthusiasm,

•to wake up knowing that each day is a new adventure,

•to remind us to take a walk and enjoy the sunshine from time to time,

•to trust that the world will provide everything we need,

•and to remind us, “Don’t worry.  Be happy”. 

As we mourn the loss of __________,

who was a very special and much-loved pet,

we are thankful for these important lessons

he/she taught us about life. 

Personal Sharing

Now is the time in our service when we ask _____________’s family and friends

to share a favorite memory of ________________. 

Who would like to begin?

(Thank the sharers.)

Procession /Flower Ceremony

Each of you are invited up to the altar to pay your respects to ______________.  Please place your flower next to the urn/casket/photo frame before returning to your seats.

Meditation- Adapted from “Prayer for Those Who Mourn”

(from the Chaplain of the Pets Founder, Reverend Sandra M. Shaw)

As we close our eyes once more

and look deeply within ourselves,

we find the reservoir of our own inner strength. 

We say to that source:

May I find the strength to mourn with dignity. 

May I find the strength to mourn in peace.

May I find the strength to mourn without shame and embarrassment.

May I find the strength to mourn fully so that my heart will be healed.

May I find the strength to mourn out loud and cry until my crying is done.

May I find the strength to mourn the loss of the one I loved,

And to understand others when they must face a similar road.

May I find the strength to mourn with patience

And to be tolerant of my own need

to move through this at my own pace.

May I find the strength to accept that I am in mourning

And to be at peace with that while my heart mends.

I know that my time of mourning

will be made easier through my understanding

that mourning is good for my heart.

May mine be a good mourning,

one that cleanses my heart,

and renews my inner being.

May my memories of my beloved _________ 

comfort me,

so that I may love be ready to love again.

When you are ready, please open your eyes.

Reading

William Butler Yeats said:

For death does not end life but is part of it, one of nature's transformations as we work our way through its cycles. Death informs life. It is not simply the mother of beauty, it is the mother of life itself, for how could we conceive of life if there were no death? And it is only because we conceive of life that we know we must taste it lingeringly, try every flavor and nuance, drink in experience while we can. Death and life are dependent upon each other, like order and chaos, neither concept being possible without the other. So there should be no fear of death, which is omnipresent, part of life. Welcome it into your arms, for it is but rest; for you lie in nature like a heartbeat.

Closing Words

As we say good-bye to our beloved ______________,

we express our deepest gratitude for the blessing of his/her sweet presence. 

Through __________, we learned compassion. 

Through __________, we learned patience. 

Through ___________, we experienced joy. 

Through ___________, we learned to think about someone else other than ourselves,

and learned to be both giving and forgiving. 

Through __________, we learned about friendship and loyalty. 

Through ______________, we learned about innocence, humility and forgiveness. 

Through this beloved animal, we were shown the best qualities of humankind,

and found that the highest virtue of all

is kindness to others.

Through our beloved _______________,

we were given the greatest gift of all,

the gift of unconditional love. 

As we go forth from this day,

may these important lessons be within our hearts,

and upon our lips. 

May we remember to share them with others daily. 

It is in sharing them, we will truly honor the memory of ______________,

and keep his/her spirit in our lives. 

Thank-you for honoring and celebrating the life of ________________ with us today. 

Please be safe in your return home. 

3. Memorial Service Suggestions for a Young Child’s Pet

Children need to learn that grieving helps heal wounds.  Like adults, children are spiritual people, and need ritual to help them deal with the toughest times in life.  As adults who love them, we need to help them grieve, so that they may heal and love again.

A memorial service for a beloved pet can help immeasurably.  Be flexible, follow the child’s lead, and lovingly affirm all responses, no matter how silly, religiously implausible or off-topic they may seem.  Know that the child is dealing with the loss in his/her own way, from limited experience.  If the child becomes disinterested in a memorial service, postpone until another time.  If your tone is accepting and loving, and the child is healing from the loss, the service will have met its goal, even if it was not completed in full.

1.   Have an adult light a special candle and say, “We light this candle for our dear ___________.  The flame reminds us of how warm and happy we felt when __________ was around.”  (Keep children away from the flame.  If the candle cannot remain undisturbed away from the group, omit step 1). 

2.  Place a beautiful cloth on a table or stool (at child’s level) and place special pet items on it, as a visual memorial.  The pet’s collar, photos, water dish, leash, fish bowl, or other items are appropriate. 

3.  Ask the child(ren) if they know a song they would like to sing for __________.  Any song will do, if it is offered with love.

4.   “Let’s hold hands and close our eyes and pray for __________.”

Prayer:

“Dear G-d, Thank-you for letting ___________ come to live with ____________.  ______________ was a good  Dog/Cat/Fish/Bunny/Etc.   _______________ loved __________ very much.  Now, ____________ has come to live with you in Heaven.  Please take good care of _____________ and give him good food, lots of petting,  some toys, and other pets to play with.  Someday, when the rest of us go to Heaven, we will be very happy to see _________ again.  Amen.”

5.  “We have some glitter (or colored sugar).  We are going to share things we really loved about ____________.  Each time we think of something else we remember about _____________, we are going to take a tiny pinch of glitter and throw it in the grass, so that it decorates the earth, just like ________’s memories decorate our hearts.”

6.  If the animal’s remains are present, ask the children to draw a picture, write a note, or place a pretty rock or flower on the container.  If the remains are to be buried, include the child’s offerings in the container.  If there are cremated remains, consider spreading them at the pet’s favorite park or spot in the yard.  Use a simple prayer, like the one in suggestion #4, when you scatter the ashes.  (Note:  Each city has different regulations about how remains are to be disposed.  Check with local officials.) 

7. “Now, we have some bubbles.  We are going to send kisses to _______________ in heaven with each of our bubbles.  When the bubbles pop, we can imagine that _______________ caught our kiss in his little paw/fin/hoof;/etc.  When we want to send our love to _______________, he/she will always be there to catch our kisses.”

8.  Give the child a special trinket box.  Tell the child it is an “I love you” box.  The child can put in it anything that reminds him/her of his/her pet, including secrets and pretend things.  The box also can hold hugs and kisses, or tears.  No one ever has to know what is in the special box – only the child.  Write on the box “In memory of _________” and instruct others to be respectful of the box for years to come.  

9.  Whether the pet is buried or not, it is a great idea to have a memorial marker for your pet, which the child can go to, gaze at, touch and appreciate when missing his or her pet.  There are many such memorials available on-line under "pet memorials".  There are plaques, stones, photo frames and other items for sale.  You could also write the pet's name in wet cement, carve it in a tree trunk, or paint a special sign in a discreet place on the side or back of your house.  You can make a website for photos of your pet, or add a photo to an existing pet memorial page (there are many on the internet). 

10.     Give the child plenty of affection and understanding, and remind them it is okay to cry.  Never belittle their feelings because it was "just a fish" or "just a rabbit" or "just a dog". 

Remember that grief knows no timeline.  Some children may be "over" their pet's death the next day, while for others, they will speak of him or her for years to come.  Be gentle, respectful, loving and empathic, and your child's trauma will heal on his/her own time.

Remember that losing a pet can bring up feelings of loss from other times, and respond sensitively.  Also, the skills children learn in coping with their own grief will help them as they grow older and face the inevitable losses we all must face sometime in life.

Follow the child's lead before suggesting getting a new pet.  There is no way to replace a beloved pet, but with time, the child(ren) will let you know when they are ready to love again.